Friday, September 26, 2014

Limerick of the Day #124

Poor Obama can not be as nice as
He wanted to be before ISIS.
He’ll pummel them well.
The Committee Nobel
Never makes winners give back their prizes.


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Limerick of the Day #123

For Pistorius and for Ray Rice
Their misogyny has had some price
But they’re getting off easy
Considering how sleazy
They’ve been (if you want my advice.)


Friday, September 5, 2014

Limerick of the Day #122

While the whole Middle East is in Crisis
Just between al Qaeda and ISIS,
The really big flap
‘S over Facebook’s new app
Just for messaging mobile devices.


Friday, August 29, 2014

Limerick of the Day #121

Says the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre
“We’d be safer with guns everywhere”
There’s no need to be choosy.
Give each young child an Uzi.
Or perhaps Wayne’s a horse’s derrière.


Friday, August 22, 2014

Limerick of the Day #120

“What is wrong with the world?” you may ask. It’s
An uptick in the sales of caskets.
When our tank-driving cops
Make routine traffic stops
Then it’s time to buy stock in handbaskets.


Friday, August 8, 2014

Health Food

I draw the line at whole wheat bread.
I know it’s healthy but I’d rather be dead.
Regardless of brand
It is grainy and bland.
Just give me a good pumpernickel instead.

I hate inedible edamame.
Give me a slab of kosher salami.
Those beans of soy
Bring me no joy.
I’d much rather have a hot pastrami.

I’ve tried the mesclun and arugula habits,
But they just seem like food for rabbits.
I’ve been tempeh-ed. I’ve been tofu-d.
Trust me on this: That is no food.

So keep your sorbet and frozen yogurt.
No pain, no gain, and these have no hurt.
Weight loss is still loss.
Give me hot fudge sauce.
Otherwise it’s just not a dessert.


Friday, July 25, 2014

Limerick of the Day #119

In case you’ve been missing the news,
Hamas thinks that they cannot lose.
They could fire their rockets
At their own densest pockets
And still blame it all on the Jews.