Friday, August 22, 2014

Limerick of the Day #120

“What is wrong with the world?” you may ask. It’s
An uptick in the sales of caskets.
When our tank-driving cops
Make routine traffic stops
Then it’s time to buy stock in handbaskets.


Friday, August 8, 2014

Health Food

I draw the line at whole wheat bread.
I know it’s healthy but I’d rather be dead.
Regardless of brand
It is grainy and bland.
Just give me a good pumpernickel instead.

I hate inedible edamame.
Give me a slab of kosher salami.
Those beans of soy
Bring me no joy.
I’d much rather have a hot pastrami.

I’ve tried the mesclun and arugula habits,
But they just seem like food for rabbits.
I’ve been tempeh-ed. I’ve been tofu-d.
Trust me on this: That is no food.

So keep your sorbet and frozen yogurt.
No pain, no gain, and these have no hurt.
Weight loss is still loss.
Give me hot fudge sauce.
Otherwise it’s just not a dessert.


Friday, July 25, 2014

Limerick of the Day #119

In case you’ve been missing the news,
Hamas thinks that they cannot lose.
They could fire their rockets
At their own densest pockets
And still blame it all on the Jews.


Friday, July 4, 2014

Yankee Doodling

I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy,
A Yankee Doodle kind of guy.
You’re free to worship if your deity
And mine can see eye to eye.

I’ve got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart.
She is not the least bit gay.
Yankee Doodle built this land
For straight white males and their mates.
So Happy Independence Day!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Limerick of the Day #118

Now your cell phone is sacrosanct.
Aereo must give up what they’ve banked.
The Supreme Court rejected
Abortions protected,
And, of course, Obama got spanked.


Friday, June 20, 2014

Limerick of the Day #117

So Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld and Cheney,
And a president not very brainy,
Used a terror attack
From nowhere near Iraq
As a pretext for going all zany.

And now in the wake of war’s drama
and disorder and stress of post-trauma,
Cheney and all his cronies
Still have the cojones
To blame the whole mess on Obama.


Friday, June 6, 2014

Limerick of the Day #116

It’s been 70 years since the day
When, with much of the world in the fray,
Allies launched an invasion
To change the equation
Of power, with Europe in play.

But now, since D-Day’s stunning success,
The world has seen new kinds of stress.
Handling prisoners of war
Is nuanced all the more,
And not only aggressors aggress.