Monday, July 21, 2008

Isaac Newton


(To the tune of The Major General's Song, from Gilbert's and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance.)
Play Audio
Newton:
I am the very model of an “Age of Reason” know-it-all.
I’ve lots of arcane knowledge though I’m hesitant to show it all.
My academic record’s unimpressive and a trifle vague,
I left school when the university was closed because of plague
But lest you think I spent my days indulging in depravity,
At first I thought of calculus, and something I call gravity.
I demonstrated light’s a rainbow when it shines into a prism,
Formulated all the laws of physics known as classicism.
Chorus:
Formulated all the laws of physics known as classicism.
Formulated all the laws of physics known as classicism.
Formulated all the laws of physics known as classi-sassi-cism.
Newton:
I showed that force is equal to the mass times the acceleration,
And concluded energy obeys the laws of conservation.
Thus, with all my knowledge, though I hesitate to show it all,
I am the very model of an “Age of Reason” know-it-all.
Chorus:
In short, with all his knowledge, though he hesitates to show it all,
He is the very model of an “Age of Reason” know-it-all.

Newton:
I showed the orbit of the moon obeys the law of inverse squares.
(Ok, the radius was slightly off, but that’s just splitting hairs.)
Gravity’s a force that operates between a pair of masses.
Spectra are what happen when you shine white light through certain glasses.
Due to this, most lenses will diffract like bubbles made of soap,
So I invented a device called the reflector telescope.
About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot o’ news.
In fact, I’ve got a formula for any exponent you choose.
Chorus:
In fact, he’s got a formula for any exponent you choose.
In fact, he’s got a formula for any exponent you choose.
In fact, he’s got a formula for any exponent you choo-choo-choose.
Newton:
I have invented integral and differential calculus.
I’ve proven the hypotheses of Kepler and Copernicus.
So now I’m back at school in Cambridge to resume my education.
This concludes my brief report on how I spent my school vacation.
Chorus:
So now he’s back at school in Cambridge to resume his education.
This concludes his brief report on how he spent his school vacation.

3 comments:

max said...

Some fun stuff, Peter.

Max Elliot nderson
from the CW list

http://www.maxbooks.9k.com

http://booksandboys.blogspot.com

wordsrmylife said...

Brilliant!
After I stopped laughing, I pattered it to my family.

wordsrmylife said...

Brilliant!
After I stopped laughing, I pattered it to my family. Puff, puff.