Relativity

(Sung to the tune of When I Was a Lad from Gilbert's and Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore.)
Audio

Einstein:

When I was a lad I needed work

And took a position as a patent clerk.

I took great pleasure in this position,

And I carefully reviewed each promising submission.

Chorus:

He carefully reviewed each promising submission.

Einstein:

I read each submission so carefully

And later I discovered relativity.

Chorus:

He read each submission so carefully

And later he discovered relativity.

Einstein:

Of patent work I soon grew tired

Though at least I had read enough to be inspired.

This inspiration lead me to teach

To see if there were others my ideas could reach.

Chorus:

To see if there were others his ideas could reach.

Einstein:

I tried to find a university

Where I could keep up work on relativity.

Chorus:

He tried to find a university

Where he could keep up work on relativity.

Einstein:

My first nineteen-five article

Showed light acts both as wave and particle.

Next month I finally finished school

By showing how to measure any molecule.

Chorus:

He showed us how to measure any molecule.

Einstein:

These papers got me notoriety

But nothing to my work on relativity.

Chorus:

These papers got him notoriety

But nothing to his work on relativity.

Einstein:

Now time and space won’t be the same

If we don’t move in one inertial frame.

But this ignores the speed of light

I redefined both time and space to make it right.

Chorus:

He redefined both time and space to make it right.

Einstein:

This was a big event for me.

This theory would be known as relativity.

Chorus:

“This was a big event,” said he,

This theory that is known as relativity.

Einstein:

In May I proved a widespread notion

That atoms are the cause of Brownian motion.

By late that year I was prepared

To prove that energy’s equal to mc squared.

Chorus:

He showed that energy’s equal to mc squared.

Einstein:

Since then my life has been so dreary

As I have failed to find a unified field theory.

Chorus:

Since then his life has been so dreary

As he has failed to find a unified field theory

Einstein:

So physicists, wherever you may be

If you want a thesis for your Ph. D.

If fame and fortune you prefer

And not just for your style and wild coiffeur

Chorus:

You won’t be known just for your style and wild coiffeur.

Einstein:

Just break new ground, like relativity

And you can be a physicist celebrity.

Chorus:

Just break new ground, like relativity

And you can be a physicist celebrity