Monday, August 4, 2008

Relativity

(Sung to the tune of When I Was a Lad from Gilbert's and Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore.)
Audio
Einstein:
When I was a lad I needed work
And took a position as a patent clerk.
I took great pleasure in this position,
And I carefully reviewed each promising submission.
Chorus:
He carefully reviewed each promising submission.
Einstein:
I read each submission so carefully
And later I discovered relativity.
Chorus:
He read each submission so carefully
And later he discovered relativity.

Einstein:
Of patent work I soon grew tired
Though at least I had read enough to be inspired.
This inspiration lead me to teach
To see if there were others my ideas could reach.
Chorus:
To see if there were others his ideas could reach.
Einstein:
I tried to find a university
Where I could keep up work on relativity.
Chorus:
He tried to find a university
Where he could keep up work on relativity.
Einstein:
My first nineteen-five article
Showed light acts both as wave and particle.
Next month I finally finished school
By showing how to measure any molecule.
Chorus:
He showed us how to measure any molecule.
Einstein:
These papers got me notoriety
But nothing to my work on relativity.
Chorus:
These papers got him notoriety
But nothing to his work on relativity.
Einstein:
Now time and space won’t be the same
If we don’t move in one inertial frame.
But this ignores the speed of light
I redefined both time and space to make it right.
Chorus:
He redefined both time and space to make it right.
Einstein:
This was a big event for me.
This theory would be known as relativity.
Chorus:
“This was a big event,” said he,
This theory that is known as relativity.
Einstein:
In May I proved a widespread notion
That atoms are the cause of Brownian motion.
By late that year I was prepared
To prove that energy’s equal to mc squared.
Chorus:
He showed that energy’s equal to mc squared.
Einstein:
Since then my life has been so dreary
As I have failed to find a unified field theory.
Chorus:
Since then his life has been so dreary
As he has failed to find a unified field theory
Einstein:
So physicists, wherever you may be
If you want a thesis for your Ph. D.
If fame and fortune you prefer
And not just for your style and wild coiffeur
Chorus:
You won’t be known just for your style and wild coiffeur.
Einstein:
Just break new ground, like relativity
And you can be a physicist celebrity.
Chorus:
Just break new ground, like relativity
And you can be a physicist celebrity

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