We bid farewell to two thousand and eight,
A year with many ideas, dumb and great.
One dominant idea was that of change
Though no one knew quite what to rearrange.
Before two thousand seven's ball had dropped
We all wished the campaigning could be stopped.
The candidates, with handshakes and with kissing,
Distracted us from ideas that went missing.
And when you thought things couldn't get much dumber,
The GOP lined up behind a plumber.
Some people even blamed McCain and Palin
For gasoline above 4 bucks a gallon.
But then, despite credulity it strains,
We elected a president with brains.
The choice of White House dog remains a drama --
Not any mutt can serve as Bark Obama.
And 30 Rock is good for Tina Fey,
Who couldn't play Joe Biden anyway.
Then China staged an awesome ceremony.
(We hope the actual games were not so phony.)
Medvedev, who took over from Vlad Putin,
Led Russia against Georgia, with much shootin'.
A disappointing year, we must confide,
For those who had large hadrons to collide.
Just like the future of which some have spoken,
Machines will rule the world, but they'll be broken.
Ignoring every taxpayer who hollers,
We coughed up seven hundred billion dollars
So all the financiers whose banks had failed
Could by the U.S. government get bailed.
It's not like throwing money on the fire --
Their chief execs will use this to retire.
Then auto makers, just to hedge their bets
Flew in to beg for money on their jets.
Though Congress thought that bailout was worth blocking,
Bush promised to put something in their stocking.
So if this year on Wall Street had a theme,
It's typefied by Madoff's Ponzi scheme.
And Rod Blagojevich’s yuletide treat
Was auctioning Obama’s senate seat.
That’s quite unlike New York’s appointment game,
Won by the one with the most famous name.
And thus passes the century's eighth year,
Like most, a mix of gloominess and cheer.
One thing is certain in the year to come:
There'll be no lack of ideas great and dumb.
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