Limerick of the Day #50

Beggars, they say, can't be choosers,
And Chrysler is one of the losers.
How'd they come to be at
This point, pwned by Fiat?
Hang on to your old PT Cruisers.

Limerick of the Day #49

Most doctors don't know what to do,
And the governments haven't a clue,
But they must stop the spread
Of this thing we all dread,
Which is commonly known as swine flu.

Limerick of the Day #48

Democrats can now finally muster
Enough votes to end a filibuster.
Pennsylvania defector
Senator Specter
Finds the G.O.P. has lost its luster.

Limerick of the Day #47

Some folks muttered an urgent prayer
While other folks fled down the stair.
Thanks to some White House dork
Air Force One buzzed New York
But nobody informed the mayor.

Limerick of the Day #46

If you're looking for skates or a sleigh
Or a bike or new job or bouquet,
These things can not be missed
If you check on Craig's List.
Even murderers look there for prey.

Limerick of the Day #45

It's a day to consider the earth
And its cycles of death and rebirth.
All the flora and fauna
Can't live in a sauna
So let us remember their worth.

Limerick of the Day #44

Though we take part in Olympic sport,
We come up, globally, somewhat short.
Other nations don't trust us
'Cause we flout the justice
Of the International Criminal Court.

Limerick of the Day #43

I'm sure CIA folks were clowning,
Trying to wash away prisoners' frowning
Tying them down with cord
To a long wooden board
And making them think they were drowning.

Limerick of the Day #42

Tackling pirates and smugglers of guns,
And those who ship drugs by the tons,
The White House concludes
It can stop evil dudes.
But where are we getting the funds?

Limerick of the Day #41

With all of the trouble in bankin',
And the victims walking pirates' plankin',
Norm Coleman just schemes
To hold on to his dreams.
Get it through your thick head, Norm! It's Franken!!

Limerick of the Day #40

In the storm that comes after the calm, a
New round of the piracy drama
And the seizing of ships
Can't completely eclipse
The First Dog, by name one Bo Obama.

Limerick of the Day #39

Phil Spector, a jury has found
Was guilty of firing the round.
Now he'll be incar-
cerated behind bars,
And not just a wall of sound.

Limerick of the Day #38

In a move nobody had expected
Captain Phillips was quite well protected
When U.S. Navy snipers
Picked off the three vipers.
Now Obama can be re-elected.

Limerick of the Day #37

Though the theme park ride was quite deluxe,
And the movies have earned megabucks,
Boarding ships on high seas,
Selling bootleg CDs --
Real life piracy actually sucks.

Limerick of the Day #36

If it's same sex marriage you want,
Or fine butter for your croissant,
For the fresh dairy air
You just have to go there.
(I'm referring, of course, to Vermont.)

Limerick of the Day #35

Just forget about declining stocks,
Earthquakes and all other shocks.
Come on out to Fenway
To watch the home team play.
It's the best relief. Go, Red Sox!

Limerick of the Day #34

I try to write limericks to master
The top stories, as cycles grow faster.
But I can't always name
Someone who is to blame.
That's one problem with natural disaster.

Limerick of the Day #33

Some computer types are quite concerned
For the Conficker worm, they have learned
Has just reconnected
All PCs infected.
An upgraded worm has now turned.

Limerick of the Day #32

Through a half dozen decades of NATO,
Guarding from Ireland to Kuwait, O!
They've been ready to act,
Testing the Warsaw Pact
(Not to mention the Institute Cato.)

Limerick of the Day #31

The economy's over the worst.
And the Taliban's all been dispersed.
The world's all connected,
The U.S. respected.
By the way, happy April the first.