Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Limerick of the Day #58

At the judicial branch's top layer,
Hispanics have not had a player.
But she won't be a beacon
Just for Puerto Rican,
But for all looking to Sotomayor.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Limerick of the Day #57

Audio

Dick Cheney, you're clearly a font
Of foul rhetoric people don't want.
So kindly behave.
Take the advice you gave
The senior senator from Vermont.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Limerick of the Day #56

Audio

We're not really sure who to thank. A
revel for the file and the rank. A
Peace may be at hand
Reaching throughout the land
Since the rebels' defeat in Sri Lanka.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Limerick of the Day #55

Audio

Pakistan's now an unstable nation
With it's nuclear proliferation.
With all this, Joe Biden
Should consider hidin'
In a now fully disclosed location.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Cannibalism

Audio

Filipe Fernández-Armesto
Says that cannibalism was common.
So try some Italian with pesto,
Or Japanese served over ramen.

Seems our ancestors, not for survival,
But to be more enduring or great,
On the death of some mentor or rival
Would help themselves to a big plate.

The holy communion procedure
Is a symbolic cannibal act.
It's the blood and the body they feed ya,
Though we tend to lose sight of this fact.

So if you throw a banquet or dinner
To acknowledge some award or honor,
Don't be shocked if the herd just gets thinner
When your party is catered by Donner.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Limerick of the Day #54

Audio

If you're someone like Aung San Suu Kyi,
Whom Myanmar's government won't let free,
And if somebody dives
In the lake and arrives
At your door, dripping wet, hide the key.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Limerick of the Day #53

Audio

There's one food that America's youth
Enjoy even before the first tooth.
General Mills should be ashamed
'Cause the health perks they've claimed
For Cheerios are not quite the truth.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Limerick of the Day #52

Audio

The Pope, former Cardinal Ratzie,
Didn't waste his youth just playing Yahtzee.
He was part of a group,
Like a young S.S. troop,
That was training him to be a Nazi.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Limerick of the Day #51

Audio

If you can't be mistaken for brainy,
And you publicly say things quite zany,
In short, if you're free
Of deep thought, you might be
Republican enough for Dick Cheney.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Motherhood

Audio

"M" is for the many ways to raise offspring.
"O" comes after "N", which stands for nurturing.
"T" is for the teaching of the progeny.
"H" is for that quaint idea, homogeny.
"E" is for effusive maternal affection.
"R" is for the relationship of primal connection.
"H" is for hierarchical family.
"O" is for the Oedipal complexity.
"O" is for the obsolete stereotypes.
"D" is for, well, diapers and some baby wipes.

Put them all together, they spell "Motherhood,"
A word that conveys all the associations of the abstract idea of maternity,
And in addition is sometimes used metanymically to mean "good."

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell



Can you hear me now?

( See The Telephone)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Telephone


Play Audio

When you are feeling all alone
And need someone to talk to
You can call on the telephone
Your friends too far to walk to.

Alexander Graham Bell,
With Tom Watson, his staff,
Had built a gadget they could sell:
The acoustic telegraph.

In eighteen seventy-six one day,
Bell's lawyers filed his claim
Just hours after Elisha Gray
Had his lawyers do the same.

Gray's lawyers filed a caveat
Declaring his intention
To build the phone, but he did not,
So it became Bell's invention.

The phone was quite a huge success
Though nobody had yet
Imagined one that's wireless,
Or fax or Internet!

So if your friends all want to get
In touch when far and near,
Just take this small bluetooth headset
And stick it in your ear.

Alexander Graham Bell,
With all of his know-how,
Did not imagine voice mail hell
Or "Can you hear me now?"