Friday, December 5, 2014

Limerick of the Day #129

If you wish any turmoil to cease
You can count on your local police.
They can leave any rioter
Acting much quieter,
Sometimes even resting in peace.


Friday, November 14, 2014

Limerick of the Day #128

With the CU decision they wrote
SCotUS unleashed campaign finance bloat.
All the influence peddling
And big money meddling
Nearly tempted us to go and vote!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Limerick of the Day #127

As the climate debacle just rages,
We’ll see more of diseases contagious.
While scarce food and water
Lead to rampant slaughter.
Welcome to the new global dark ages.


Friday, October 31, 2014

Limerick of the Day #126

I’ve gone out as a big gorgonzola,
And an anti-US ayatollah.
But my costume this year
Really fills hearts with fear
For I’m dressed as the virus Ebola.


Friday, October 10, 2014

Limerick of the Day #125

In politics, fear plays a role
As with ISIS and now with Ebol-
A. Republican fear
Mong’ring this mid-term year
Could just gain them a romp at the poll.


Friday, September 26, 2014

Limerick of the Day #124

Poor Obama can not be as nice as
He wanted to be before ISIS.
He’ll pummel them well.
The Committee Nobel
Never makes winners give back their prizes.


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Limerick of the Day #123

For Pistorius and for Ray Rice
Their misogyny has had some price
But they’re getting off easy
Considering how sleazy
They’ve been (if you want my advice.)


Friday, September 5, 2014

Limerick of the Day #122

While the whole Middle East is in Crisis
Just between al Qaeda and ISIS,
The really big flap
‘S over Facebook’s new app
Just for messaging mobile devices.


Friday, August 29, 2014

Limerick of the Day #121

Says the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre
“We’d be safer with guns everywhere”
There’s no need to be choosy.
Give each young child an Uzi.
Or perhaps Wayne’s a horse’s derrière.


Friday, August 22, 2014

Limerick of the Day #120

“What is wrong with the world?” you may ask. It’s
An uptick in the sales of caskets.
When our tank-driving cops
Make routine traffic stops
Then it’s time to buy stock in handbaskets.


Friday, August 8, 2014

Health Food

I draw the line at whole wheat bread.
I know it’s healthy but I’d rather be dead.
Regardless of brand
It is grainy and bland.
Just give me a good pumpernickel instead.

I hate inedible edamame.
Give me a slab of kosher salami.
Those beans of soy
Bring me no joy.
I’d much rather have a hot pastrami.

I’ve tried the mesclun and arugula habits,
But they just seem like food for rabbits.
I’ve been tempeh-ed. I’ve been tofu-d.
Trust me on this: That is no food.

So keep your sorbet and frozen yogurt.
No pain, no gain, and these have no hurt.
Weight loss is still loss.
Give me hot fudge sauce.
Otherwise it’s just not a dessert.


Friday, July 25, 2014

Limerick of the Day #119

In case you’ve been missing the news,
Hamas thinks that they cannot lose.
They could fire their rockets
At their own densest pockets
And still blame it all on the Jews.


Friday, July 4, 2014

Yankee Doodling

I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy,
A Yankee Doodle kind of guy.
You’re free to worship if your deity
And mine can see eye to eye.

I’ve got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart.
She is not the least bit gay.
Yankee Doodle built this land
For straight white males and their mates.
So Happy Independence Day!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Limerick of the Day #118

Now your cell phone is sacrosanct.
Aereo must give up what they’ve banked.
The Supreme Court rejected
Abortions protected,
And, of course, Obama got spanked.


Friday, June 20, 2014

Limerick of the Day #117

So Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld and Cheney,
And a president not very brainy,
Used a terror attack
From nowhere near Iraq
As a pretext for going all zany.

And now in the wake of war’s drama
and disorder and stress of post-trauma,
Cheney and all his cronies
Still have the cojones
To blame the whole mess on Obama.


Friday, June 6, 2014

Limerick of the Day #116

It’s been 70 years since the day
When, with much of the world in the fray,
Allies launched an invasion
To change the equation
Of power, with Europe in play.

But now, since D-Day’s stunning success,
The world has seen new kinds of stress.
Handling prisoners of war
Is nuanced all the more,
And not only aggressors aggress.


Friday, May 23, 2014

Politician Aptitude Test

Have things changed at all since the Revolution?
Should every gun lover be permitted to carry?
Do you believe in the theory of evolution?
Do you think gays have a right to marry?

Do you think more guns make this a safer place?
Does a 2-cell zygote have more soul than a cow?
Should colleges look at an applicant’s race?
Is the climate changing with effects right now?

Do you believe in public education
Or any assistance for struggling poor
Like access to healthcare and medication?
Should we drill for oil both on- and off-shore?

Can you quote the party line each time you pander,
And not have to fallback on insight or candor?


Friday, May 16, 2014

Limerick of the Day #115

If you care about wealth inequality,
How the 1% hogs the frivolity,
You might like a solution
Like re-distribution,
That conflicts with capitalist polity.

Have you read this new book by Tom Piketty
About wealth distribution’s iniquity?
The solution he backs
Is a global wealth tax,
But the odds of that happening are about as good as the odds of my finding another near rhyme here.


Friday, May 2, 2014

Limericks of the Day #114

For thousands of years humankind
Has found larger groups with which to bind.
Tribe, city, state, nation,
Increased globalization
Built communities of the mind.

But now increased individuation
And the segmenting of population
Means we no longer find
Vast groups likewise inclined.
We’re increasingly in isolation.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Limerick of the Day #113

The way this Supreme Court is trending,
There’ll be no limits on campaign spending.
Every billionaire
Will buy time on the air
To push some candidates they are vending.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Limerick of the Day #112

As Obamacare faces delay, or,
Scorn from each opposition nay-sayer,
They’ll again try repealing
With threats of debt ceiling.
What we really need is single-payer!


Friday, March 21, 2014

Limerick of the Day #111

Every day something happens that’s new
(Or that’s how it’s reported to you.)
Global strife. Missing jets.
U.S. life. Russian threats.
Yet it seems somehow like déjà vu.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Limerick of the Day #110

Tribes, villages, cities and nations
Reflect increasing populations.
But it takes a disaster
To make us look past our
Selves to global coöperation.